March 30, 2020

第13天

在家隔离差不都2个星期了
闷得发慌
才发现好久没update这里
时间总是不够用
虽然我还是常常在玩
那是因为我没在读书 ._.
Year 4 过得特别快
也许是大半时间都在玩
真的是honeymoon year
10个月内考了11个EOP
成绩没有很理想 也许是我不够努力
下个星期原本该去Hospital Queen Elizabeth 进行1个月的elective posting
结果被这COVID-19拖延到明年考完final professional exam 才能去了
所以一个月半的假期变成了两个月半 我该怎么办
上了大学 没试过有那么长的假期

想念year 3的组员 我们相处的模式
可惜我们已回不去从前 因为某些人
year 4 让我发现了某些人的自私程度原来那么高 但或许他也觉得我很自私
某些友情原来那么脆弱 但或许他未曾把我当知己
某些人原来那么做作 虚伪 但或许是我看错了
某些人原来真的是你对他好 他就对你好 但或许他只是刚好对我好
以前有很多聊得上天的朋友
渐渐的 越来越少我想说话的对象
好多话 只对自己说
偶尔会发现 原来我很孤单。
不怪任何人 这就是我的性格

有那么几个人
希望明年会与他们同组 :)

若没事 6月就进入final year了
是时候 好好努力读书 
目标就是以3.0以上的成绩毕业 我就满足了
虽然在这行成绩好也没用 但没目标要怎么努力啊
朋友们都毕业了 自己还是个寄生虫 :|
毕业后的前途也是好迷茫
我国的政府 从不明白医生的辛苦
在医院才看到了他们的艰辛
国家根本没有过剩的医生 只是太少医疗设施
在医院诊所排队看医生的人 每天早上都是爆满的
每天看无数的诊 workload比一般人高 连critical allowance也要废除 
我真的不明白
而且也不再保证每个医生会被政府录取... 就是医生会有失业的机会
那些为了赚多多钱 而逼自己的孩子去读医科的父母 现在后悔了吗
好啦 希望新的政府会比想像的好。

每个晚上都做梦
好多不同的梦 好多不同的人
结果都睡到好迟
因为梦太精彩了 哈哈
现在这种无忧无虑的生活
平淡无奇 
偶尔还是喜欢颠簸的旅途。

谢谢关心我的人

September 20, 2018

Paediatrics and Orthopaedics

Passed two out of five postings in Year 3 :)
Each posting only has 7 weeks + 1 week for exam, which is quite short to learn that much.
In clinical posting, classes are different
there is no lectures, instead we have task-based learning (TBL)
Before the TBL, we have to prepare slides about the topic and present it during the class
There are about 2-3 TBL a week. Lecturers will comment on our mistakes and add on the information we missed.
Besides TBL, we have Bed Side Teaching (BST)
before BST, we have to clerk the patients in the ward and present the interesting case to our lecturer during BST
Then, we will discuss the everything about the cases and perform physical examination if needed.
Other than these, we still have ward work, clinical skills practice, evening duty, clinic duty and operation theatre duty. Ward work is the time we go to the ward to clerk patient. Clerk patient means to obtain a detailed history of the patient and also perform physical examination.
It wasn't easy to clerk a patient especially if they are uncooperative. Some of them were really nice and friendly when I approach them, they are willing to tell me everything and be patient throughout the examination. Some of them rejected me when I first say hi with some excuses. Some were too talkative until they tell me their 'grandmother story' for one hour. Haha.

PAEDIATRICS
I was really excited for this posting because it's my favourite haha
To see children every day
play with them 
look at their smiles, their innocence 
never failed to melt my heart. 
Although they always cry whenever I want to do physical examination on them
they stopped crying when i take out my toys :D
it's so much easier to communicate with children than adults. 
Children in the ward are so cute that I can't restraint myself from going to the ward to visit them everyday, even though I haven't finish my task.
There were a lot of things to study but the cases we can see in the ward were very less
and most of them are the same, asthma or pneumonia or bronchiolitis
mostly respiratory cases.
There was a child, stayed in the hospital very long
he drowned few years ago and had brain damage
the incident left him with cerebral palsy
he can't walk, can't talk, can't even move any of his limbs
but he can open his eyes, he can listen to what we said, he knows everything that is happening around him.
Feels sad whenever i see him in the ward, lying on the bed and can't do anything
He was once a healthy child, but now...

ORTHOPAEDICS
Orthopaedics is something I don't really like
But I can't give it up just because I have no interest in it :)
It was quite tough at start because everything sounds very strange
The types of fracture and their classifications on different bones..
Spine problem, bone tumour, infections, diabetic ulcer, nerve injury..
Too many things to study, especially anatomy.
the nerve, the blood vessels, each part of the bone
and still have to learn the different technique of physical examination for each parts of the body.
Even the treatments are so different
We have to decide what to use to fix the fracture like nails, screw, plates and arthroplasty
Feels like a mechanic/carpenter in orthopaedics HAHA
Saw a lot of patients with their amputated leg, mostly due to diabetes
Diabetes is a really scary disease ._.
I think the hardest thing for a physician working in orthopaedic department is to tell their patient they have to amputate their limb because it can't be saved, and I had witnessed an old lady making the decision for her foot, begging the specialists for other options..

Next posting is the hardest of all, Internal Medicine
hope I'll get through it :)

才知道自己
錯過了那小幸運
對這一切
真的衹能用心說
文字并不能表達
現實生活 總不會如心所愿
都過了那麽久
到現在依然搞不清楚。

你説那是錯的時間
這是對的時間?
我希望不衹是因爲錯的時間
真的不明白你在意的是什麽
希望不是我想的那樣

不小看
你的心有多大。

還是想對你説 對不起
我知道 我做錯了。

May 16, 2018

17.05.2018

Year 2 熬過了
即將開始3年的clinical posting
就可以畢業了
緊張 興奮 期待 害怕
要當醫生的過程 才走了四分之一
正往地獄的門走去
請祈禱我能熬過走出來順利畢業。

要住宿舍 真的怕有點不習慣
以前也許很獨立很勇敢 不害怕
20歲以後不知怎麽了 嚴重想家
家給我太多安全感
加上我那有點嚴重又不算嚴重的潔癖
其實很難跟別人share厠所 ._.
還是喜歡我的房間 :)

2個假期 特別多時間
其實應該好好利用這時間去溫習準備posting
可是誰會想在假期時讀書呢
知道一定會後悔 可是還是很懶惰
衹想好好休息
得空到一個人晚上想很多睡不着
好久沒失眠
糾結
心軟到底是不是優點
總是逞强 總是不説 總是想太多
某種程度讓我覺得我是不是在折磨自己
心中的瓶子 滿了會怎麽樣
誰可以借我你的瓶子?

左眼皮跳了幾個小時
希望一切安好。



姐姐,生日快樂 :D

November 20, 2017

Year 2 Block 3


Always late post because the only time i have for updating my blog was during my break. It was my second year of MBBS Ball Night, our turn to organize it.
Although I'm not part of the committee, but I did took part in the performances.


Favourite photo of the night! Was really impressed by the effect they made it out, with all the starsssss :D like a dream


We were trying to pose like a professional model. HAHA !

So I guess this will be my last chance to dance and perform on a stage?
We trained really hard despite our packed study schedule for the performances
I was involved in 4 performances and therefore, training for each performance everyday after class, got no time to study and yet the due date of research project was near.
However, i enjoyed every moment of it. I enjoy dancing, it's my hobby since young, my dream to attend classes but never got the chance.

We have no professionals to teach us, it was kinda difficult at first
But it turned out to be so much better than my expectations! Was really proud of everyone :)


 As if it's your last + Bang Bang (Produce 101 version)
I tried really hard not to smile or laugh during the performance, and to show bitchy face hahaha.
Twice - Remix (Cheer Up, TT, Knock Knock)
These dances were not difficult except the partssss of changing position. I really love our outfit for this!
Not forgetting the opening (Me Too + Despacito) and closing (Handclap + Coincidance) performances, and my first choir experience :D
Choir was eye-opening and challenging, I was in Alto and we had to sing different notes instead of singing the notes of the original song. Wow.


Lab Posting
Block 3 only has one subject, Laboratory Medicine.
it's our time to do lab posting, which is basically visiting the lab in hospital and understand what they do but no hands-on allowed
So we just stand there listen and watch.
In Hospital Kuala Lumpur, we went to microbiology lab and histopathology lab
histopathology was the most interesting because we get to see how they process the tissues, organ or tumors removed from patient's body.
The only thing I like about HKL was the tasty tandoori in their staff's food court :)
In Hospital Ampang, we went to hematology lab and clinical chemistry lab
Witnessed trephine biopsy for the first time and I can feel how much pain the patient was going through, imagine a super thick needle passing through your bone O_O
I like everything there including the McD that was just opposite the road HAHAHA
also the super delicious Nasi Kukus !


對不起
面對妳  我真的累了
是我不夠耐心 也不夠寬容心
也許是我太獨立 理解不了你的依賴
我説 朋友這東西
真心相對的真的不多 可能甚至沒有
 所以不想再抱著任何希望
 不再期待能遇見
 我們保持好朋友的狀態就行了
我真的不喜歡善意總被利用
有時候真的認爲男生真的比較容易談心
説話不用那麽防備
 因爲我害怕  我總是不小心太直接
 而男生恰好沒那麽敏感去在意
 謝謝那一位常常陪我聊天的
 也許有一天我們能做閨蜜  哈哈
那麽多年了 我依然一個人傾訴一個人聆聽
 難道這是後遺症嗎
 還是我習慣了。

好多事情衹能放在心里
想説也説不出口
也許根本找不到詞語去形容
 因爲我真的不擅長表達
 不想說錯話
 有好多話一直以來想對某些人說
 卻好像沒機會了

Community Project 2017

A very late post about my community project.

Year 2 Block 2 was all about community project.
We were assigned to visit different elderly homes to do research on their health statusand do a simple health screening for them. I am really excited when I was briefed about it because I always wanted to visit an old folks home and do volunteer work since young, finally the time comes.My group was assigned to visit Lovely Nursing Centre in Petaling Jaya, the home with the most residents.

On the first day of our official visit to Lovely Nursing Centre, the first resident that I had interview was a 86 years old lady. She was sitting at the side and smiling happily when I walked towards her. I was a little bit nervous since it was my first time interviewing elderly people and there were a lot of questions which included some very sensitive ones. But after talking with her for one minute, I became relax and comfortable. She was friendly and willing to share a lot of things with me. I was impressed by her personality, she was very independent since young and had to take care of her whole family. She never got the chance to graduate from high school because of her responsibilities towards her family but she did not complaint and continue to do so. At this age, she had no major health problems and she can still bath herself and hand wash her own clothes every day. She has a son who paid for her expenses in the nursing centre but he seldom visit her, she miss him a lot but he always said he is busy and could not find time to visit her. Whenever we talked about her son, she cried and I felt so sorry that I could not help her but I did comfort her and told her not to think too much about it. I really hope that her son will visit her sometime in the future and appreciate the valuable time she is now left with.

 




There was another old who is deaf but he likes to communicate with us and tell us his story. We had a difficult time interviewing him and make him go through all the physical examination stations. To communicate with him we need to write our sentences on a paper. He can understand most of the time and willing to do all the test as well. But he enjoys sharing his past experience by drawing a lot of things on the paper which we cannot understand. However, I still tried my best to interpret his drawings and analyse the things that he wanted to share with me. Although it is very difficult to communicate with him, but all of us never give up and helped him to complete all the assessments. Day by day, I knew more stories about the residents as they shared their past experience. Everyone there has their own stories and we should give more attention to them as this is what they need the most: someone to talk to and someone who will listen by their heart.

There's a playground we always go to whenever we have extra break time and nowhere to go, also it's our meetup place before going to the nursing home.

Almost everyday after the community project, we went for food hunt since we were finally out of Sungai Long! Tried nasi lemak bumbung for the first time :D

 
When we first came into Lovely Nursing Centre, there was a lady with the nickname Ah Kuan who will come to us every time she saw us. She can only communicate in Hokkien language, so most of the time only my group members who can understand Hokkien will talk to her. She is a very active person and keep following us around, just like a big child. Sometimes, she will just cry out of a sudden and I felt so useless that I can only stand there watching her cry. When I inform the care taker that she was crying, they told me it is normal and said that I can ignore her. I was shocked for that response but still, they are the ones who understand Ah Kuan the most. One day, we arrived there and saw her sitting at the back with her legs tied by chains. They told me that this was because she tried to steal money from the counter and the care takers tied her legs up as a punishment. From my opinion, I think she is just playful but not intentionally wanted to steal the money. One of the thing she likes to do when she saw us was to look at our lanyard and student ID. Then, she would shake hands with us and repeated this every time she saw us. Therefore, I gave her a lanyard and wrote her name on it because she seems to want one so badly. She was very happy after receiving it and keep showing it off to everyone. But the lanyard was gone the next day which was expected. She was so naïve and it really makes me wonder what was in her mind all the time. Maybe all she needs is more attention and care from people and that is why she kept approaching us every day.


I was also a runner during physical assessment session. My job is to assign the residents to their stations and ensure the stations flow is smooth. This job requires good team work and communication skills which enabled me to learn more and improve myself. One of the challenging part was when they feel tired and ran away while halfway doing the assessment. I had to find them and try to persuade them to complete the assessment but not forcing them. If they were feeling uncomfortable or insist to withdraw from this assessments, I will not continue to persuade them but suggest them to do it on the next day as the assessments give no harm to them. There was an uncle that none of us succeed in interviewing him. His primary language is Cantonese, which only a few of us can speak that. I felt bad for refusing to interview him because I do not know what respond I can give to him whenever he asked me: “Can I follow you all to go back later? I want to go home. Can you tell me how to go home?” He asked every one of us but we just do not know how to answer. I could not talk to him because I cannot accept myself as a person who stop him from going back home. I felt so cruel to not help him to go back his own house, everyone has their own choice, but he does not have that choice. The person-in-charge there does not allow any one of them to go out from the nursing home due to some reasons I am not quite sure. How I wish I can help him but it was something out of my control.


One day when we arrived there in the afternoon, one of the resident just passed away and her body was left on a bed at the hall. I did not realize it at first until someone told me about it. The founder of Lovely Nursing Home, Mr. Gopi came after that to host a small ceremony to send her away. He gathered everyone around the body, and asked everyone to pray for her. We did it together with the residents although I do not know who is she. Mr. Gopi said a lot of things but one of the most meaningful sentence he said was: “No one is perfect, everyone will leave soon or later. Appreciate everything you have and be grateful.” I am totally agree with this because we only live once in our life, we should make our life meaningful by appreciating everyone and everything that happen around us. Life is imperfect without all the ups and downs, enjoy while we still have the chance and stop complaining.



On the last day of our visit, we had prepared a tea party for them which included some fruits, jelly, curry puff, tea and satay. They gave us their health information, we should give them back something in return. Before the tea party, we had already asked the residents what they want to eat the most. They wanted something that they never get to eat in the nursing home, some of them suggested satay and we prepared it for them.


Besides foods, we made some paper roses by ourselves and bought the hand fans because they always complaint that they feel very hot and sweaty in the nursing home due to poor air circulation. We distributed the paper roses and hand fans to each one of them while singing songs. The smile on their faces reflected how happy and excited they are at the moment I delivered it to them. Every smiles from them is a recognition of our hard work because we were there to make them feel accompanied and brought colours into their life in nursing homes. I always feel happy whenever someone who received my help smiled too, their smiles can melt my heart and it is the best reward for everything I did for them.



It's the end of our community project, a meaningful project
so much of mixed feelings throughout this project, looking at all the residents in nursing home, some were abandoned, some were disabled..
It was tiring but worth so much that I gained a golden life experience.
the memories will be kept forever :')